How to Be Liked 2

Connecting with people, effortlessly

You find yourself at a party, social gathering, work environment, or even simply in a group of friends, and can’t help feeling like you have nothing of interest to say. Even though you’d like to connect with the people around you, you don’t believe you have anything of value to say, and so you say nothing to spare yourself the humiliation of saying something forced, incongruent, or disingenuous. Still, when you see a gap in conversation, you seize the opportunity: you try an anecdote that falls flat, or you ask a question that comes across as interrogative, uninteresting, or intrusive.

Icebreakers and pretexts to connect with someone are among the most challenging things to get right. They are also the easiest if you understand, not how to connect with people, but why you’re doing it.